So over with the projects and all, it's the CNY period and surprisingly, there isn't much CNY mood for me this year. There isn't much new year songs playing around, not much decors being put up. Seeing my friends all drowning in the festive mood, i'm feeling kinda envious. Some going overseas, some partying with friends, some catching up with family and relatives. It just makes me feel a little sad, that I've got no activities planned. And a little......nostalgic. CNY was always my favorite season of the year when I was young - catching up with my relatives and going over to my friends' house for visiting. As I grew up and till today, CNY lost it's meaning to me. I start to not see a point in celebrating it, just like my birthday. It's just like any other day, where I just stay at home, and do me.

Oh well, I guess as I grow older, I'm more independent, and start to feel that I do not need anyone beside me - not even my boyfriend or friends. Somehow, I feel i'm starting to push people away again, and starting to isolate myself in my own little world. Now, I just want to run away, to a place where no one knows my name, my personality, my everything. Wanderlust. That's what I really want. I'm starting to lose the meaning 0f my life. I don't know what I want to do with it, I don't know how I will go about dealing and shaping it. How miserable. How. Miserable.