August, it's been a really crazy month for me, and it didn't start off really well - my boy has to enlist first thing August arrives. I remember how both of us were talking in his room on the day before he enlist and it goes something like this.

Me: *hugging him really tightly*
M: You really can't bear for me to leave, can you?
Me: Of course la! You'll be gone for like 2 weeks straight, with minimal contact.
M: Silly you!
Me: Ask you, if on that day when you enlist I never cry, will you think I'm heartless?
M: *thinks for a while* Hmm, not exactly heartless, but not not heartless. Why you suddenly ask leh?
Me: Well, people were telling me it's gonna be a really sad moment and you will just have the feeling to cry.
So I was just wondering lor
M: Whether you cry or not it's not important ah, doesn't really matter to me
Me: Maybe after you book in I will feel the absence and tear, but I know for sure I'm gonna miss you really badly. It's gonna be so different without you around
M: *gives me a nice tight hug*

I thought it was not going to be so difficult, because we don't really meet up very often - probably once or twice a week. But it turned out, just 2 days into his enlistment, and I'm suffering from insomnia for 2 straight days. It's really crazy knowing he's on a remote island going through drills and trainings, while all I can do is just think about him 24/7. I cried myself to sleep for a couple of days, and it only got better when I received a call from him on day 3. It was madness. The overwhelming feeling of just rushing to him and jumping on him to give him a nice warm hug. You start to miss everything about him - his nonsense, his smile, his scent, his face, his arms, his tummy, his hair. Everything. And the moment you're left alone with nothing to do, your mind starts to wander and the first thing that pops up in your mind is him. It only got better for me when I started working, going for yoga classes and driving lessons, which kept myself occupied and not miss him so much. On the other hand, time was also passing much faster when I kept myself occupied with things to do. Now it's down to the last week of his confinement period, and I really can't wait to see him during the weekends! I've already arranged for morning shift work during my weekends, kept my schedule light so that I will be able to see him first thing I end work!

School's starting tmr, and it's gonna be a tightly packed week for me, but somehow I feel much happier and contented. I believe because now I'm allocating more time to myself and roughly know what I want to work towards.