I've ended my common test! Stepping out of the exam hall, feeling confident. Best feeling ever! :DDDDDD

Anyway, 2 more days to my birthday, and i'm totally not excited about it. Not even when my family is gonna celebrate it for me tmr, and bring me out for dinner. :\ As I grow older, I'm less inclined to celebrate my birthday. I don't know how to across that feeling to you guys, but yea! When I was young, birthdays were like the biggest event of my life! But as I reach the age of maturity and as I grow older, I slowly lose this feeling. I start to feel that birthdays are dispensable. Don't know if I used this word correctly, but what i'm trying to say is, even without any special setups/plannings/celebrations for my birthday, i'm okay with it. I'm even happier if nothing was done. Don't even know why I had such a feeling.

So I've managed to persuade my mum, to allow me to go for a full body checkup. Recently, my hands were shaking uncontrollably. Happened before when I was in secondary school, and for the past few years, its been occurring rather oftenly. Last time I went to the chinese physician and asked before, and he said was low blood sugar. But as usual, its still shaking. Initially I suspected it was Parkinson's Disease. Although the chinese physician said it was low blood sugar, but I still had some reservations about it. So yup! Partly this full body checkup is for this issue, and the other parts are because of my suspicion of Angina. Another problem I have, is that whenever I walk, my knee will just "give way". I do not know how to explain. Its like while walking halfway, my leg will suddenly just feel strengthless. Not to the extend of collapsing/falling down, but my knees will start to bend slightly. Its like, after vigorous CCA trainings, your leg will just feel so weak, so much so that when your friend nudges the back of your knee, it will uncontrollably bend forward. Its that kinda feeling. Its also occurring more and more frequently, and I doubt anyone noticed it?

I feel like going overseas to enjoy a quiet time alone. Away from all the hectic lifestyles and problems. Everyone is so happy they are reaching the legal age: can drive, club, smoke etc. To me, its just a number. Whats so fascinating and exciting about a number? I'm just so not excited about my birthday. Can anyone tell me why?

Labels: everyday life, feelings